How to no longer feel self conscious by REALLY doing something ...... anything!

In my many years as an acting coach and facilitator the most important lesson I have ever (and will ever) teach is the ability to really listen.

The second most important lesson is how to really do.  And when you really do you will discover the freedom from self consciousness. You will discover that when you truly put all your attention onto something outside of yourself you will no longer feel self conscious. You will discover that once you start really doing you will become more available to your creative impulses, others, the fullness of the moment and you will no longer be existing just in your head.

I can hear you laugh. 'Really do! Why would I need to learn how to really do? All I do is DO!'

Yes that may be so - yet I will still question 'are you really doing whatever it is you do, 100% in this moment?'

It does not matter what your creative pursuit is. It really does not matter what it is you do. These next four steps will transform how you do

1. Ensure the activity you intend to do is physically involving and you know what it is you are going to do - be specific (Thinking is part of the planning not the doing)
2. Know when you have achieved what you have set out to do - an end point
3. Give yourself a reason why you are doing - give meaning to your actions
4. Set a time limit - immediacy is vital otherwise you could waste your time avoiding what it is you need/want to do

Don't just trust me - do this and experience the difference for yourself!

And you must listen to this for more inspiration on how to do! Don't forget to leave a comment to let me know how you go. 

Don't think, do! - John Kennedy

An InLinkz Link-up

With compliments!

Last Thursday I washed my hair.  As I was styling it (and my self) my mind was filled with self-deprecating thoughts. You know - these kind of thoughts......

Oh my god!! Look at that hair/face/body- the color/style/shape/everything is so hideous/revolting/wrong/ugly/a joke!!! 

Yes - those kind of thoughts. As the day went on EVERY single person I met complimented me on how I looked.

Oh your hair/dress/make up looks great!  It really suits you. I love the color.

Seriously I received compliments like theses for days! And each and every time I (defensively) responded with a quick retort like

Oh it's just a facade!  It's not how I feel on the inside. Oh really cos I hate it! 

Why could I not simply accept these kind words with the grace and love in which they were given? I know I am not alone in my response.

One friend suggested that if I just let the words sink in they may 'work on me'.   Hmmm ....... I hope I get another opportunity soon to explore this strategy - keep my mouth shut or say a simple 'thank you' and let the compliments work their magic.

Have you been complimented lately? How did you respond?  Do you have a favorite compliment?

I much prefer a compliment, even if insincere, to sincere criticism - Plautus

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Less? More!

An InLinkz Link-up

The cup of life - what's in yours?

The cup of life - ale ale ale! Do you remember this song? Check out it here for a fun reminder.

Boy it's been a rough couple of weeks for the world hasn't it? The theme of life and death has been front and centre of every media conversation and very difficult to avoid.

For me my dog went into heart failure, survived but has a much shortened life expectancy. So the question of 'what to do when my puppy's moment comes?' was explored. I required some medical tests which brought me a night of worry (and tears). I was flooded by the question 'what would happened to my daughter if I was no longer here?' Then an elderly relative was admitted into hospital with pneumonia. She has a terminal illness and the time to say goodbye is closer then it's ever been before.

Thankfully all three of us are alive and kicking and I have the luxury to ponder over these questions while so many in the world today do not.

My child sometimes asks me 'mummy when are you going to die?' My response is easy. 'I don't know darling because it's a mystery'.

The inevitability of death is something we rarely have control over. However we can have a lot of choice over how we live our lives. We have control over how we will replenish our own 'cup of life'. And it's in these difficult times that a 'full cup' can support us the most.

So I ask myself some more questions - what do I like to have in my cup? What's missing from my cup right now? What is always in my cup that I sometimes overlook?

My ideal cup of life looks something like this:

• A heap of fun times and laughter with family and friends 
• Cuddles and hugs 
• Sunshine 
• Both lighthearted and deep and meaningful conversation 
• Fresh sheets 
• Smiles and hellos 
• Chocolate
• Learning something new 
• Engaging work 
• Down time 
• Gratitude 

I could keep going! I need a lot to fill this cup of mine. 

What about you - how do you fill your cup of life?

When you have nobody you can make a cup of tea for, when nobody needs you, that's when I think life is over - Audrey Hepburn

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Kicking goals in May

The sun is kicking goals today! 

'I'm kicking goals!'

I really love this expression.  It's a colloquial Australian way of saying you are achieving something positive and you are happy to celebrate this fact.  The 'goals' can refer to anything.

I have a vague recollection from my Oprah  viewing days of one of her experts saying it's not the 'goal' itself we desire but the feeling the achievement of that goal brings us. This 'expert' was suggesting it's more important to focus on what we want to feel as that feeling can then be attained in many different ways - ways that may not necessarily follow the standard societal expectations of success.

I generally avoid a formalised practice of goal setting. I usually feel quite uncomfortable when asked to commit to my goals in writing.

However I just love the positive and light feeling I get when I say (or hear someone say) 'I'm kicking goals'.

That's what I want for this month.

And I hope to achieve that feeling by blogging everyday this May. Will you join me?

Are you a goal setter? Tell me about your process. Are you going to Blog everyday in May ?

Stop setting goals. Goals are pure fantasy unless you have a specific plan to achieve them - Stephen Covey

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Blog everyday in May - a challenge

Last year to kick start this blog I participated in a blog challenge called 'Blog everyday in May'. The challenge was put together by Sunday Granger at LoveHappyDaily.com - a blog that has disappeared into virtual thin air.

As repetition is one of my favourite things I plan to do this challenge again. Would you like to join me?  You can play along either on your own blog or you can simply add a comment here each day. From May 1 I will have one of these linky things set up so please add your link.

This is the list of prompts that Sunday put together in 2014

Day 1 

Goal setting.  What are your plans for today?  (And/or this week?  This month?  This year?)

Day 2 

What’s in your cup?

Day 3

Write a Less/More list

Day 4

What’s a compliment you have been given that has stuck with you? Who gave it to you? When?

Day 5

Write a ‘How to’ post teaching everyone … well, how to do something! Cooking, crafting, or anything else that takes your fancy

Day 6

A favourite photo of you.

Day 7 

Where are you writing from today?

Day 8

Share a book that you’d like to read but haven’t yet.  What draws you to it?

Day 9

5 things you love on a Saturday

Day 10

A fashion, beauty or life tip

Day 11

Go for a photo walk.  (It’s a walk where you take lots of great photos and share them

Day 12

Tell us how your blog got its name (and tagline)

Day 13

Write a poem or piece of creative prose

Day 14

Make us laugh.  Share a funny story or picture.

Day 15

Create or share a poster, card or artwork that shares a message that inspires you.

Day 16

Blogging is about sharing the love.  Tell us about 5 blogs that you love reading regularly

Day 17

A day in the life.  Photo journal your day today

Day 18

10 things that make you happy

Day 19

What is your Dream job?

Day 20

Who inspires you?

Day 21

What’s on your plate?

Day 22

Share a video clip that you are loving at the moment.  It could be as simple as a song on YouTube or an inspirational speaker on TED Talks

Day 23

Write a post about a particularly good or controversial comment someone left you

Day 24

If you could have 3 people to dinner tonight, who would you invite?

Day 25

A list for the week ahead

Day 26

Invite someone to guest post for you

Day 27

Share a project you’ve been working on

Day 28

Family.  What do you love?  Best traits? What crazy genetics do you have in common?  Fave photo?

Day 29

What have you said ‘yes’ to today?

Day 30

Best advice you’ve received lately

Day 31

Gratitude

If anyone is still  in contact with Sunday please let me know. I'm really excited to revisit these prompts and I look forward to hearing how they inspire you too.

Happiness is the longing for repetition - Milan Kundera

What has meaning to you? Anzac Day 2015?

It has been a miserable day here - the greyest of grey skies, non-stop rain and a wintery temperature. Yet none of this appears to have dampened the general public's observance of ritual and tradition this ANZAC day.

ANZAC Day occurs on 25 April every year in Australia and New Zealand. Today is the 100 year commemoration of the ANZAC landing at Gallipoli in 1915. And the 'hype' through out the community and media has been big. Understandably so.

Yet I have approached this day with a mixture of ambivalence and trepidation. No buying of badges for me. No chatting with the oldies. No sentimentality here. Avoidance was my plan. Denial my overriding desire.

Why? I hear you ask. Well - this is the first year my child has been fully exposed to the ceremony of this event through the instruction of the educational institution she attends.  I was worried about her sensitivity to the facts of the occasion. I wanted to shield her from the harsh realities and horrors of both our present day and our past.

But what a great learning opportunity! I hear you suggest.  Here they argue 'young children will have an opportunity to understand the importance of this national day, and its role in building peace in communities today.' My child however had a lot of questions (and shed some tears) about war, guns, young men dying and 'baddies'. And yes this did give me the opportunity to allow her to speak of her anxieties and frame the day in a more child centred way.  

But I still feel angry. Actually I'm pissed-off. 

I'm pissed off that my child has begun the journey of the loss of her innocence. 

I'm pissed off that some random fourteen year old, thousands of miles away, thought it would be a great idea to behead a police officer at an ANZAC parade. 

I'm pissed off that 100 years ago thousands of young vital men of varied nationalities - and their families and communities - lost their innocence and hundreds more lost their lives. 

And what really sits under all my heated negative feelings?  I hear you wonder. The ever constant pain of grief.  I know I am not alone in my experience. Nor does it make me un-patriotic. Simply my meaning of this national day this year is separate from the masses.  I know my response is not fixed. It will change as I do. As we all do.

How has the anniversary impacted on you in 2015?  Let me know.

What a cruel thing war is... to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors - Robert E. Lee